Boxcutters Episode 99

?He swore he?d get revenge, even if it took 100 episodes. And here it is, slightly over 99 episodes later and still no revenge. We?re essentially in the clear.?

Tonight on Boxcutters? John?s rotting corpse is discovered, but the post mortem answers few questions. There is mystery and intrigue as the gang assess the full extent of the Damages. A trip to Paris gets Sarah Jessica in trouble; while some questions are answered about the Doctor?s mysterious Master. Meanwhile, Mr Foxtel is in for a shock when one of his closest supports turns on I.Q.

99 Baby!!:

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    1. Rob Boxcutter says:

      Just in time, people. I was gathering my grains and preparing to march down to the studios demanding granola, granola, GRANOLA! Foiled by lack of milk (Doris!!!) all I could do was ring and harrass poor Simon over the phone. Boxcutters have left the building. We’ll let you get away with it this time, fellas, being your 99th and all. But next week . . . watch out for the fat lady singing!

      Rob boxcutter

    2. Great show guys!

      But don’t be bitter about getting rolled on GAT. Sitting there in your Versailles studio you have to remember a little bit of revolution’s OK every now and then.

      I thought I was the only one who doesn’t rate Kath and Kim. Ever since the first series it’s sent me reaching for my thesaurus to find synonyms for underwhelmed. If those who do get it thought it sucked on Sunday night then Channel Seven can’t be blamed. Remember, the creators pretty much had this series in the can before they shopped it around so they could pretty much do whatever they wanted.

      By the way, I thought Sunday’s edition of 60 Minutes was simply outstanding. 😉

    3. David Boxcutter says:

      You guys are taking the GAT discussion way too personally. I think it’s great that people are arguing instead of just sitting around on their monkey-logo Crumpler beanbags eating Granola.

      Just because I/we disagree with your exclusions, doesn’t mean we think you hate those shows. Criticism of the list is just healthy discussion, not a personal attack.

      Aside from the fact that you are all demonstrably and objectively wrong about all of your choices, that is. Including the way you live your lives.

    4. Bahahaha, I’m seeing all three of them in a Swan Lager advert. ‘They said you’d never make it’ etc etc.

      It’s difficult to malign Kath & Kim based on one episode. The scrutiny was unfairly high this weekend: people tearing apart its first appearance on a new network.

      Riley and Turner don’t seem to have the hang of writing sitcom form for commercial television, though, because the ad breaks were jarring. The length was actually no different to your typical ABC episode (24 min), so it’s not like an equal narrative had to be rammed into a smaller hole.

      Also, golden plot points were left hanging (e.g. Kim chucking other people’s stuff into the pool) and loads of opportunity was squandered. They’re bogans in Queensland ffs, the whole episode could have been superb.

      The current Doctor Who mythology is no different to the old one. A few facts have been ignored or altered slightly, but only to aid the new production, and even then it’s getting closer with every episode. This year’s alone dragged loads of clunky mythology kicking and screaming into the new show (I won’t say what so I don’t spoil anything), but kept it at arm’s length to avoid alienating the more sexually attractive viewers.

      Davies and the BBC didn’t want to go all Trekkie and cling to the past when so much can be done in its current form. Clearly the best choice, because not only is it thoroughly superb (except last year — Ross, you’re bang on), but my wife loves it, and she hates science fiction. Without that breadth of appeal, the BBC could in no way justify the enormous expense.

      Also, this year’s final isn’t crap at all. Certainly not as crap as the end of the first year, with Rose and her magical breath. Jeeeeeeeeezus.

    5. ActualChad says:

      An, another warm, inviting episode to toast my ear-mellows upon.

      Re The Master: I was trying to not spoil the return of the Master at the end of this series of Doctor Wh (and I couldn’t remember if it had been mentioned here or not), but alas, the secret is out.

      Yes, Magic Breath was cheating (killed him, saved the other guy, but she’s fine? WTF?), but I still think this year’s conclusion is just stupid. Pretty but stupid.

      Micallef did a great sketch about having enough room to swing a cat. Damn not having everything everywhere not available as a YouTube clip! Someone somewhere knows what I’m talking about.

      Nice mixed metaphor BTW re Rose Byrne: Her star is on the rise/, now she’s getting meteor roles!

      So what’s up for ep 100? My votes is a black and white musical episode where Ross and Brett reveal that they are the same person…but from different parents… all played by Larry Hagman!!!

      Finally, the Ellen Parsons Project? I hear Helen Coonan is a fan:

      “Eye in the Sky! Eye in the Sky!”

      Feel the Love!
      Where’s my Shirt?


    6. @Chad:

      I still think this year?s conclusion is just stupid. Pretty but stupid.

      Davies was never good at endings. I don’t expect good final episodes from him anymore.

      So what?s up for ep 100? My votes is a black and white musical episode where Ross and Brett reveal that they are the same person?but from different parents? all played by Larry Hagman!!!

      Can’t wait for the video podcast.

    7. Speaking of Doctor Who, I’d read this yesterday but forgot to mention it on the show:

      Joan collins has signed up to be the new dr who baddie.

      The dynasty star will play the evil TIME LADY RANI.

      She and the Doctor will clash throughout series four as he tries to stop science villains’ cruel experiments.

      It has also been hinted the pair have had a fling in the past.

      The 74 year old is the latest celebrity to make a guest appearance.

    8. Shit! That’s my awesome joke ruined. Any time anyone every wanted to avoid spoilers, I’d tell them the Rani was coming back just to shit them.

      It has come from News of the World (UK) though. You can’t believe Murdoch tabloids at the best of times, let alone their rumours.

    9. Ahhh, Boxcutters – allow me to pose an interesting conundrum: Is it more embarrassing to be referred to once, twice, nay – three times on your latest podcast as a “she”? Or should I (alas) be more upset that I was outed publicly as a Dr Who fan.

      Damn. Well, inadvertant sex-changes aside (Christ! I used to have a show on 3RRR myself – doesn’t ANYONE *sob* remember?!), great show this week.

      I’m sure you can wikipedia it in far greater detail, but the short and nasty version of current Dr Who continuity is this – at some point, the Daleks developed time travel themselves, which set off on an up-and-down the time stream running battle between the Time Lords and the Daleks. Each side messed around with the others development & history, a bit like ‘Back to the Future II’, or possibly more like the Simpsons when Homer’s toaster sent him back to the age of the dinosaurs…
      Sometimes you return to the present and it’s raining donuts; sometimes Flanders becomes Big Brother; and sometimes Marge just has a tongue like a lizard.
      “Eh, close enough”

      In any case, it’s as good an explanation for any continuity errors as you’ll get – and after all, isn’t the whole point of time travel fiction the setting up and resolving of paradoxes, changing things at a whim, the elusive “what if-“?
      Or possibly I’m completely disappearing up my own ass at this point…

      In any case, as to how the Master survived is – well, it’s not a gaffe, but a deliberate plot point. Again, wikipedia if you reeeeeally want spoilers.

    10. Apologies for the back-to-back posting, but I really did have to concur with Adam D above; the appeal of the current Dr Who is less to do with sci fi nuts as due to the fact it’s an honest-to-god family show; dad, mum, your neighbour’s 10 year old kid, grandma Flo – they can all watch it and get something out of it. With respect, that’s something I don’t think you could say about the Sopranos or TWW. In fact, I dare someone to come up with a list of say ten actual FAMILY shows on TV in the last ten years (let alone currently on air). It’s become an underdeveloped market, and possibly only the BBC still targets it – witness their new Robin Hood series, for example.

      …which I suppose ties in to the comments on this weeks show about how good it is to have WIN & the regionals go ahead and make proper kids TV.

      And I realise it’s all over bar the shouting, but one GAT candidate still remains GLARINGLY outstanding. I’d argue it’s the single BEST, most innovative, most clever, most – god forbid for a comedy – FUNNY sit-com of the last ten years…
      the BBC’s “Coupling”. How the heck did that gem not get put up for consideration??
      Split screen episodes, multiple POV storylines, “Lesbian Spank Inferno”, ‘Captain Subtext’, any number of FANTASTIC running jokes, long story format – that’s a tick in every box of the GAT criteria…

      Excuses must be tendered!

    11. I’m so, so sorry MordWa, completely my fault. That’s my slight lysdexia rearing it’s ugly head. I can’t get my brain around your name for some reason and it always wants to come out WordMa. WordMa – clearly female.

    12. And while we’re in the mood for spoilers, I shouldn’t say too much but – 100 eps, 100 minutes, 100 comments on the blog… Get excited people.

    13. Hi MordWa. I thought, when Josh said it on the show, that it didn’t seem right but I hadn’t paid 100% attention over the week and couldn’t conclusively correct him on-air.

      Coupling, I thought, started out OK but by the end I detested it almost as much as I did Helen Hunt by the end of Mad About You – and I FRICKEN HATED HER GUTS!

      The neuroses of the blond chick as she was going through being pregnant was the final nail for Coupling but it had started having problems when they tried to replace the zany Welsh character with a zany English character. They just managed to pull it off once, attempting the replacement was sheer lunacy.

      I really did give it a number of chances – if only for the memory of Jack in This Life – but the constant letdowns lead me to refuse it consideration for GAT.

    14. As someone dealing with a pregnant chick right now-

      Uhh- *stops* *waits*


      – It may not be worth my life to complete that thought. She may read this…

      We’ll have to agree to disagree about Coupling – I still say it’s more deserving than a number of the nominees (Firefly? Really?!)

    15. MordWa what was the show you did on RRR?

      Some say childbirth is the greatest pain there is – I beg to differ… The last two seasons of Coupling was much worse.

    16. The doctor who time line follows on from the novelisations which in turn followed on from the original TV series. Speaking of Doctor Who, the one episode you must see, even if your not a fan, is the episode called “BLINK”. One of the best episodes of TV this year.

    17. Of course I love the way Brett will blame me for something even after Ross has admitted it was his fault (albeit a completely honest error).

      Maybe he just doesn’t listen to what Ross says.

      Maybe he gets confused because they are the same person.

      Sorry, following Ross’s lead I think I also referred to you as a she. But really, can you blame us? With gams like yours anyone could make that mistake.

    18. Josh, I’m blaming you for everything whether it’s your fault or not. And don’t try to blame the envelope.

      By the way… I’m a bloke.

    19. Absolutely. Blink is one of the best pieces of television you’ll ever see. Ever. Bugger it being Doctor Who; you don’t even have to like Doctor Who. It’s on in two weeks (Sat week), if I’ve got my maths right. Cancel everything just to see it.

      *** SEGUE ALERT ***

      Steven Moffat, who wrote Blink, also wrote Coupling.

      *** YOU WERE WARNED ***

      Coupling went off. First two seasons are intimidatingly creative and intelligent; last two are duff.

    20. Duff. That’s a fabulous word for something that’s shit. Hope you don’t mind, AdamD, but I’m stealing it.

      Can’t get enough of that wonderful Duff!

    21. ActualChad says:

      Glad I’m not the only one who loved Blink.
      First time in yonks I actually jumped while watching TV.


    22. Well, it seems that everyone has pretty much chipped in about Doctor Who canon (got that, Josh? – canon, not mythology). I, too, wasn’t too happy about last season with all its URST (and heading that way again with Martha) but I suspect that Ross is just a little snobby towards chavs. *grin*

      Has anyone noticed that these new assistants aren’t jazzed at all by the idea of space travel, but mention time travel and they’re so up for it? Reflection of the times, I guess – anyone can pay a gazillion $ and head into space these days.

      Re the Foxtel hard reset: Josh, I suspect that your EPG crapped out, which had happened a few times to us a couple of months ago, but the hard reset seemed to resolve it. The reason they have the hard reset msg on hold is because it’s like the standard IT question: “have you turned it off and turned it on again?” In the 2.5 years we’ve had Foxtel I’ve only had to do the reset twice – you have obviously had a much smoother ride. Perhaps just coincidence that it occurred only a few days after the changeover to iQ (but I know you won’t be convinced of that).

      Re JFC: I’m sorry to say it because you want it to be something different, but the last ep was chock full of Christian stuff again… Shaunie as Jesus, returned; Linc as Saul/Paul – his resulting conversion and evangelism; the parade = Palm Sunday… it’s all in there and more. Despite what Milch had said, I haven’t seen that much evidence of a greater spiritualism or “oneness” – it became more overtly Christian as it went on. Perhaps that’s what got it cancelled.

    23. *wishes upon a star*

      “Blue Fairy – I wanna be a real boy!”


    24. GUFF is another good word for shit – although it can get you in trouble…

      Nelson: Oh, man, that horse don’t take no guff from nobody.
      Jimbo: Guff?!
      Nelson: I mean sh– [Jimbo and Kearney start whaling on him before he can finish]

      I am snobby to chavs, especially when they are talentless slapper ex-bimbo singers.

      I wonder if the lack of interest in space is budgetary – much easier to create certain moments in the history of this planet than invent a whole new outer space world.

      Also, as far as JFC goes, I don’t buy the whole Christianity thing. Not that I think you are necessarily wrong CB, I just think it is another thing the show tried and stuffed up. So John was referring to himself with all that ‘God’s word’ guff? And who is Cass in all that? And Kai? Besides, surely some of Jesus apostles could actually act.

      And what the hell was going on with all that faux 9/11 garbage?!? I’m getting angry again. God, that show sucked. What a waste of everything.

    25. catbrain says:

      Just on the JFC Christianity… I think John’s supposed to be an angel or something, some sort of messenger, not God. Cass is perhaps the apostle Luke, the historian of the group? Kai, I don’t know… although the last words of the ep “Mother of God Cass Kai” could be the 5 words that Linc asked of John when they had their chat sitting on the asphalt.

      I had my suspicions that the used car salesman was in some way supposed to represent God, but I wasn’t concentrating properly at the time; I am interested in watching the whole thing again straight through.

    26. catbrain says:

      This just to hand: an article where Milch discusses a few aspects from the final ep…


      “John From Cincinnati”: David Milch Speaks

    27. I had my suspicions that the used car salesman was in some way supposed to represent God, but I wasn?t concentrating properly at the time; I am interested in watching the whole thing again straight through.

      Really? You want to watch it again? Surely once was too much.

      Thanks for the article CB. It’s an interesting read which makes me think for all his lofty ambitions Milch failed miserably with JFC and that he is essentially a big, pompous ass – which maybe explains the show a little.

      (Also, spoilers? What is there to spoil? Nothing actually happened in the finale)

    28. Can we play Fantasy Boxcutters? For the magic 100th I wish for a Hardy/Talia double-whammy.

    29. catbrain says:

      Funny you should mention how long until we get a show of YouTube clips on telly…

      From The Age: i-Caught viral video show

    30. alex boxcutter says:

      I’m just watching Nathan Barley…..BRILLIANT!!!!!
      I mean it’s just wonderful television!
      Thanks for mentioning it again Josh, I had forgotten the name since last week.

    31. See? Now THAT is what GAT is all about – finding otherwise unseen great television (that and arguing that other stuff is just crap).

    32. hey, great to hear the still fresh bruising from Gat this episode.

      you boys watched spaced yet?

      what about bsg? sure, its only a 60+ hour commitment to catch up, but bloody hell, you’re tv fans.. you can do it!

      oh, and when i was eight, i got the most adorable puppy. We had him for just four days when my mother accidently ran over him. he bled to death in my arms.

      that experience was still more enjoyable than Curb Your Enthusiasm..

    33. Rob Boxcutter says:

      Ok. Now I have watched the final episode of John From Cincinnati. Look, I really enjoyed the ride. As I intimated in another post, I like to work for my TV enjoyment (but only if the payoff is big enough) and this show did it for me. Sure some of the characters were wooden, and some annoying, but weren’t there some beauties! Freddie + Palaka, Barry Cunningham, Ramon, and Bill Jacks (Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ)! I loved the way these guys (the actors) really inhabited the skin of these characters. And yes, plenty was unresolved. You might even say some things were left up in the air??? but this will always be the case, would it not, with a series not knowing its fate after the season ends and having to bring some closure fore the season but also leave enough threads unravelling to pick up if the sho gets the GO for a second season.

      Oh I laughed heartily at the characters themselves as well as their lines and delivery. For me it was a show I’d like to collect all the precious gems of dialogue from and display somewhere.

      Final tally of the Deadwood Posse I think was 6. Or have I missed one?

      Well done Milchmeister! You don’t need to guarantee me a destination, just show me a good ride with colorful eccentric characters and the genious actors to play them, and in the playing, transcend them. You keep me entertained with your stylistic speech patterns from another time that intrude into our own and remind us there are odder ways to go

      DoeS a show change your life.? It can. It can redefine for you in an instant your tastes and your dislikes and so you get not just entertainment from this process but also change and movement and hopfully momentum to act.

      This show is an ensemble, yet only some of the ensemble are people. Some other ensemble members are themes or the thing Palaka does with his arms, or the steady Freddie stare or “which little crushable fly are you to me, The red one?” Squishh, splat.

      You will all live forever in the zeros and ones of cass’s camera.

      Now pleazse excuse my, my bird has me at the accountant at 3pm. . . .


    34. My favourite part of ep 99 was when Josh said ‘Swedgin!’ I’ve been watching series 3 of Deadwood and I can’t stop saying that… and ‘cocksucker!’ (in Wu). It comes out at odd moments. People keep looking at me strangely. I really must stop. Is there a cure for infectious Wu-ism?

    35. Rob Boxcutter says:

      @ kerrie: I know what you mean.

      There’s a great scene in an early (series 1) episode of The Wire, where McNulty and Bunk are examining a crime scene, measuring distances and calculating ballistic trajectories and ricochet angles. They talk to each other throughout, and it’s not a particularly short scene – at least a few minutes – yet the entire dialogue is restricted to two words: “fuck” and “motherfucker”. Very funny, and it reminded me of Mr Wu’s restricted vocabulary. Of course, Wu can also say “San Francisco.”

    36. San Francisco cocksucker!

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