Category Archives: opinions

A Cynical Attempt by Nine?

This Sunday night Nine will air their ratings bonanzas of CSI a-go-go from 9pm. The FINA not-drowning championship has not been doing well for them in the ratings but they’re willing to allow it an extra half hour on their most popular night of week.


Well, Rove starts at 8:30pm on Ten. I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody in programming had the cynical idea that the first half of Rove will rate its arse off because all people want to see is how a man so recently bereaved will handle his return to television. The hope, no doubt, is that after the intrigue is taken care of, people will have no interest in the show and look for something else to watch.

Am I missing something here? Is there some vital event at the not-drowning that must be aired between 8:30 and 9? Am I being too harsh on Nine and they really have a fully justified reason for starting CSI so late?

South Park is back but…

Great to finally have Season 10 about to screen here. As I said in the show 6 months ago it is a top quality series. However it is not without its problems.

Firstly why has it taken SBS so long to screen it? Season 11 has already started in the States. South Park famously has a week turn around from idea to finished product, meaning it can be a relevant, up to the minute satire. This is somewhat negated if SBS don’t screen the episodes for 12 months.

Secondly for some reason SBS is starting with Tsst – a great ep but episode number 8 in the series. For those less numerically inclined that means they have left out episodes one to seven.

My guess is that SBS is trying to make itself as despised as the commercial networks – first ads, now contempt for the viewers by ignoring the running order. How long until they claim these faults are just them responding to viewer suggestion and giving us what we asked for?

Today Tonight seemingly up to it’s old tricks.

Whether they used Liz O’Neil’s name or not, it’s a pretty cheap stunt whatever.

Commercial Network Websites

While we took our one week break, and probably to keep up with their self-imposed February deadline, Channel 10 launched their new and much anticipated website. I wanted to mention this on the show this week but we ran out of time.

The short review would be “same shit, different shape” but I thought I’d take this time to look at and compare the websites of all three commercial networks.

I’m basing my comments here on the sites, and

Firstly, let’s talk about what you want from a network’s website. Show information? Tonight’s viewing lineup? Competition information? Annoyingly loud flash-embedded video previews of upcoming shows which start automatically and scare the shit out of you?

I don’t think it’s too much to ask to get to the front page of a TV network’s website and be able to confirm what time my favourite show is going to be on tonight. On Seven it’s some clicks and scrolls away. On the Nine website you have to think that maybe it will be in the entertainment section and then you find that you’re suddenly on the TV Week website and then you still have to click and scroll before you find what you want. Meanwhile the Ten website has the guide just one click away. This sounds good but it’s not. When you get there the guide is actually difficult to use.

This example just adds more fuel to the argument that the networks really don’t understand their audience. Both Nine and Seven have partnerships with internet companies for their websites. At least if you put into your browser you get to some Channel 7 content but Nine are just being right-royally screwed by their ninemsn partnership. If a viewer is going to a network’s website it could be for any number of reasons but surely one of them is to find out some information about the network. That might be a program guide or some information about one its shows.

Ten have got this half right with their new site but when they’re spending as much money as they are on “web presence” they should get it all right.

Network executives have got to realise that the world has changed and they can no longer force habits on their audience. There is too much choice out there to not give them what they want from the start. A little bit of market research goes a long way on the internet and TV networks have an opportunity to build some brand-loyalty but instead they just see fit to piss it up a wall.

Give me a reason to stop watching TV shows through other avenues and I’ll do it, but sitting me in front of a station promo while rubbing a cheese-grater across my face isn’t going to work. I’m just going to get pissed off.

Pay TV Statistics

I read today that:

“Last week, subscribers to pay TV spent 60 per cent of their viewing time on the multiple channels it offers, with free-to-air channels Seven, Nine, Ten, SBS and the ABC receiving just 40 per cent of their attention.”

I thought that this was fairly interesting, there has been much discussion of the ‘ratings war’, but not much on the numbers that Pay TV are getting.

I wonder what the breakdown is within Pay TV for the Channels. I will add, that I would think I watch closer to 80% Pay TV.

Obtained from a AFL Rights article at The Age.

Any thoughts?

NOT news

Every night it seems we are getting a “story” from Channel 9 News about the building of the pool at Rod Laver Arena. First there was a name contoversy, then Ian Thorpe came to vist, then they put concrete in, then Madam Butterfly flew in, now they are putting water in it…

Putting water in a swimming pool is hardly a news story, even in draught stricken Victoria. No one cares about the stupid swimming. I know Channel 9 will be broadcasting every tedious stroke in an attempt to claw back some ratings after 7’s pounding start to the year, BUT IT IS NOT NEWS!!!

Stop diluting your news with this hacky, cross promoting crap.

The ‘No’s’ have it…

Thought maybe we’d play some ‘Movie Yes, Movie No’ (not to be confused with Film Yep, Film Nah – that’s a cheap knock off) but all I could find was movie no’s.

Quigley Down Under – No
Species – Yes (but really no)
Charlie’s Angels:Full Throttle – Oh God No!!
Ransom – No
Twelve Mile Road – More Tom Selleck?!? No
Instinct – No
Donnie Darko – No, no, NO!!!!!!!!!

And then finally – Saturday 1:30pm

The Poseido Adventure – Yes


HD TV – Language Warning

OK, I know I’m just re-hashing news, but this one is close to my heart.

A report in the Australian outlines how the 3 Major stations are handling HDTV and how they see it in the future.

CH 10 have been heavily advertising that the Saturday night AFL match will be in HD, and that the major sports events will also be in HD (Rugby World Cup, Formula 1), most of the shows 10 show from the US are shown in HD here.

CH 9, well they have no sport, but again, most shows from the US are now shown in HD here.

Now to my Boxcutters style rant.

Ch 7, Barely show anything in HD, and don’t plan on doing so, not with the AFL (on the home of AFL ;)), most likely not with the 2008 Olympics, but more importantly, the HD that they are showing is in the lowest spec that they can possibly get away with, what jerks!!!

And, then, as I read on, I’m told that the stations are now allowed to multi-cast, show more than one show on the different channels, which then makes me think, why didn’t ‘Hair on Fire 9’ when it was not showing us the cricket, and make us watch ‘Some Advertising Affair’ not just say, switch over to Channel 91 to watch the Cricket? All I can see is TWO advertising streams, and ALL the viewers are happy (excluding those without a HD or SD Set Top Box!). It certainly makes sense to me, but what little hair I have isn’t on fire!

So, in true Boxcutter’s Style, F&^k YOU Channel 7 for not promoting HD and for showing the lowest quality HD you can get away with, and F*&K YOU Channel 9 for not just stiffing us on the cricket, but actually having the ability to show both programs at once and not doing so!

The Australian Article that got me started.

Back to front and outside in

I may have been a little too hasty with my assessment of the current season of Simpsons. The most recent episode features Bart getting his drivers licence. Call me picky, but to me this is a little to similar to the classic episode from a few years back where BART GETS HIS LICENCE.

Ridiculous. The repetition is one thing, but such an unlikely and easily remembered premise being repeated is just stupid.

Also, after my ranting and raving (and possible spolier-ing) last week this week’s Lost was AWESOME. Everything I love about Lost in a fantastic little 42 odd minute package. Yum. Good work Lost people, I’m back on board. Don’t let me down again.

Trash – Both Here and Abroad

There are some stunning examples of humanity floating around on the TV at the moment, making for great watching.

Entertainment Tonight is going gangbusters on the whole Anna Nicole death, devoting entire shows to the aftermath in a fashion not seen by them since it was nothing but OJ, credits to credits. Of course they have been covering the whole Bahamas/Dannielynn/drug binge pretty hard since Smith’s son died in September last year and because of that they’ve been in the right place at the right time and in tight with that loopey possible father and great quote giver Howard K Stern. Riverting stuff.

Meanwhile closer to home the Jodi/Mercedes/Schapelle wars have been great current affairs fodder. If it keeps up this weeks entire Boxcutters may end up being one giant Raywatch.

Come back Media Watch! I would love to see their take on it all.